I’m about to tell you something kind of embarrassing and I’m not sure if it comes down to my Chinese ancestral roots — I’ve forever been obsessed with matchmaking and it’s not that I’ve personally had the most outstanding track record when it comes to finding appropriate suitors.
No, it’s my belief in that fairy-tale, romantic comedy kind of love that makes your heart race so fast you can feel (and hear) every beat reverberate through your entire body, and much like that 6-year-old version of yourself who is anticipating Christmas morning, you can barely sleep because you are excited about the endless possibilities of the day ahead. Nature even starts to appear that much more beautiful and you can’t help but be overwhelmed by the small details — in your mind, you even dare to go to that ‘running wildly through an open field of daffodils’ kind of territory, because you are convinced (if not obsessed) by grand notions of love.
So, this has been the reason that:
a). Years ago I set up a one-off blind dating game. I had three single male friends submit an application fee. The winner would use the proceeds to take the single girl on a date. A blanket divided the room so that *single girl* was blocked from the three potential suitors, for whom she would present a ‘fun’ list of questions.
b). I placed my good friend beside my husband’s two single friends at our wedding in the hopes that she might hit it off with one of them.
In the instance of a). when the blanket dropped the winning contestant of my blind date game looked less than pleased about the prospect of his date. They both grinned and bared it. I had the best of intentions and throughout the game could not contain my laughter, but hey— love and attraction is a complicated science!
And in the case of b). by the time the lights turned low and the music started, my friend was showcasing her kooky dance style with one of the hopeful single guys who himself, was exploring his ability to ‘dance off-the-beat’. It was a random, yet obvious coupling (and the closest I’ve come to a successful ‘match-up’) — his famous romantic line to her (which I love) went something like: “Your eyes are like two black peppercorns…”
They ended up celebrating the same anniversary as ours for the next three years.
In its totality, I am convinced that love makes you feel better about the world, provides you with a clearer insight into who you are and the potential of who you can ultimately become. Love is optimism, peace and comfort. It is perfectly cooked toast with a soft-boiled egg, or a bed with freshly made sheets.
But with the highs come tremendous lows, in which case, I have on previous occasions, enjoyed crying dramatically into my pillow, reveling in the raw emotion of my tortured heart.
Some relationships leave you feeling like a boat without a sail on a windless day (stranded, and going nowhere fast), or, maybe you have an instant attraction but on reflection you realize your connection was about as deep as a book without pages — devoid of content and finished before you even got started.
I love these images from the SS14 Ilaria Nistri campaign which to me, are strong, sensual, yet tough.
So these are thoughts that come to mind as I’m working on a radio documentary about relationships and how people find love.
One thing that I’ve discovered in my own personal love story is that relationships take work, but the best relationships result in an ease of communication, shared goals and values, and individual growth — that you feel the most yourself when you’re with your respective partner/boyfriend/girlfriend, husband or wife.
You know you’re doomed when the road ahead is constantly beset with obstacles; you might think you’re headed in the same direction, until you step back and see that you’re on totally different paths — walking down a road that never intersects.