Winner’s never quit and quitters never win: the tired old motto on repeat throughout my formative years.
It was a voice that went on…and on…from a record that was well and truly broken and I was always sitting in the line of fire.
Like a good Chinese girl I absorbed these words, until they lay like a green vein threading it’s way beneath my skin, confounding me—the girl with the perfectionist tendencies—until I couldn’t eat, refused to speak, and my heart exploded in my ears.
So I ran for thousands of miles until my bones gave way, and it hurt to smile.
Why not live to ‘experience,’ I thought?
But to win is to succeed. To win is to be accepted. To win is to be appreciated.
And so I sat, with my bones collapsing in my skin—I would never be good enough.
To this day, that voice—those words—still ring loudly in my ears.
Only, I can tell it when to stop.
A couple of weeks ago I had the privilege of receiving this incredible international award. Winning isn’t everything, but a mere acknowledgement that I’m right where I need to be.