I rip the wings from moths and chase them around lampshades,
until I’ve caught each one and
my fingers are dusty
with silver smoke
And it wasn’t my intention but…
One day I threw a rock backwards when it hit a boy on the head
and I was forced to stand in a doorway
as punishment, facing the wall
at lunch time
Lying beneath the dining table…
I watch feet as they pass, and I hold my breath until the table legs
align with the chair legs and everything is parallel,
then I exhale and relax until
someone sits down
And it’s easy to be invisible…
As a middle child where no-one can see or hear me, so from the age of eight
I make a pact of silence to say nothing,
unless I have something
important to say
I vividly recall snapshots of my emotions from childhood…
Where my feelings are bigger than me and my heart is bursting
through my chest wanting to be set free, except
I’m too scared to let it go, so I catch it
just in time.
I‘ve been distracted by life lately because it feels bigger than me at the moment. So apologies if you’ve felt my absence. I’m still here, but I’ve waiting for inspiration to hit!
It’s been a year of drastic change consisting of a few too many lows, but enough highs to keep me hanging in there—sometimes only just.
I used to thrive on change, but it always came with some kind of emotional turmoil that over the years I’ve been happy to live without. And while I could do with a break I’ve come to embrace a cycle that is necessary for growth and expansion.
Which brings me to music. Lately there are some songs that just resonate with where I’m at and make me feel kind of nostalgic for those childhood days and memories that have remained stagnant up until now. This is one of them…
Photo Credit: (Yee Family, CHCH) I miss climbing door frames…I’m pictured above with my two sisters, can you guess which one is me?