Luscious curves, the perfect pout and the kind of hips that sway as they make their way up a flight of stairs. That’s what comes to mind when I think of femininity. But over time I’ve discovered that feeling feminine is about being strong and empowered. And finding my own ‘F-side’ is about that equilibrium of embracing the masculine and feminine sides of my personality.
Unfortunately, it’s been harder to do than you might think. For me, the former has always outweighed the latter and it doesn’t help that I have a fairly boyish, athletic shape. Coupled with a fiery ‘I’m going to do it my own way’ personality, the masculine side tends to win hands down.
I don’t have the most womanly figure and I could do with a bra size at least two cups larger…um, make that three. I wish that I had a much longer torso and I would kill to have the kind of hourglass figure that actress Sherilyn Fenn was famous for in the height of her Twin Peaks days. FYI the new series is just as crazy as the last!
I also wish that I was taller; that my feet were narrower and that my face had much softer, finer features. But while my list is long enough to fill a cricket pitch — because the grass is always greener (and perfectly manicured) — it’s just far too easy to get stuck in that rut of focusing on the things that you can’t change.
I’ll never be taller. My face is changing as I get older. And, had I been born a century ago then foot binding would have fixed my duck feet. Ouch! So really the only realistic way to be is to embrace your individuality and make the most of what you have — always.
On those days where your hair refuses to cooperate, just bite the bullet and wear your favourite lipstick to distract attention away from your hair and make you feel good. Or better yet, pop on the biggest earrings you can find! These ones are by young Australian designer, Natalie Vladamiroff who showed a collection at iD Dunedin Fashion Week this year. I love how big they are and she makes them in a variety of colours, but these two pairs work in well with my wardrobe.
Yep, there’s nothing more important than dressing to please yourself. And for me, igniting my F-side will always be about finding those playful, quirky elements that I just can’t live without.